margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
