Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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