how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize