Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
