You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
