Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
