just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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