i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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