Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
