they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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