Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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