Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
