I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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