mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
