onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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