I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
