She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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