You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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