u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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