If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize