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• (912): View more from Georgia

  i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  Or a large amount of condoms?!?

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference

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• (585): View more from New York

  When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.

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• (714): View more from California

  i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons

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