The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
