I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
