The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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