Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
