He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
