I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
