She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
