You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
