We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
