Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
