i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
