I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
