don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize