big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
