Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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