he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
