A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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