I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think my mom watched the whole time
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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