Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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