if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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