I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
