He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
