there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
