i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
