Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
