why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
