Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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