Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
