If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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