But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
my liver is dry heaving
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize