Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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