pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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