Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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