u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
