In the future we'll all be gay
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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