you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
