New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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