you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
