is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
