I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
