Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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