Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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