Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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