Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
