Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
