his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
