were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
