How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize