another moral hangover. fuck.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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