I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
